Tugger's other song
by loveydovey14
Summary: A little song about Tugger is floating around. Rated T for mentions of HIV and rape.


**Tugger's other song**

**Oh my god, the first time i sang this song I couldn't do it with a straight face. Okay, so somebody is whispering a little song about Tugger into everybody's ears, and now Tugger is a laughing stalk. Who started the song? I saw this song in the comment box on youtube, except it was about Barney the dinosaur, but I changed it to match Tugger. Please R&R! **

**No mean comments!**

**This has to be the stupidest story I've ever written.**

**Disclaimer-I (unfortunatley) do not own _Cats_. But I do own a cat who looks like Rumpleteazer! =^w^= teehee!**

Tugger strutted by the clearing in the junkyard. _Time for my daily dose of kittens fawning over me_ he thought to himself. He looked over in the corner and saw Electra, Etcetera, Jemima and Victoria chatting quietly. Tugger fluffed his mane up and walked up to the queen-kits.

"Ladies." he said putting his thumbs in his shiny silver belt. The kits looked up at him and started...giggling? They didn't crowd around him and rub against him. They instead started to giggle insanely. Jemima's face turned red and she put her paws over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Tugger was puzzled. "What's so funny, kitties?" The kittens looked up at him and continued to giggle. Finally, when they couldn't bear to stifle their laughter anymore, they got up and ran away. Tugger tried to think of reasons of why they would be laughing at him. Was his mane fuzzy? No. Was there a stain on his sleek, black coat? Again, no. He looked down at his foot to check for any stuck toilet paper. Clean. So why were they laughing at him?

Some movement happened behind him. Tugger turned around and saw Coricopat and his near-identical twin sister, Tantomile, climbing in sync with each other over heaps of trash.

"Hey Cori, Tanto, do you guys know what's up with the kittens? They're acting a little strange." Coricopat and Tantomile looked at each other, and then, to Tugger's surprise, they started giggling too! They ran off before Tugger could say anything else. Skimbleshanks appeared from his den nearby.

"Hey Skimble! Do you know what's got everybody laughing?"

Skimbleshanks stared at him for one moment, then ran off laughing. Cassandra and her cousin Exotica were over on the big tire whispering to each other.

"Hey Cassie, Exotica, what's everybody laughing at?"

The cousins walked away trying to hide their laughter.

"What is with everybody?" Tugger said aloud.

"Teeheeheeheehee!"

Tugger turned to where the new giggle was coming from. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer sat atop a garbage pile and pointed at Tugger, laughing with each other.

"What. Is. Every. Body. Laughing. At?" Tugger said slowly. Mungojerrie turned to Rumpleteazer.

"Wha'? Ya don' even know 'bout teh song 'bout you goin' 'round?" Mungojerrie said, slightly surprised.

Tugger lowered his brow. "What song about me?"

Jerrie and Teazer looked at each other a grinned.

_"I love you, you love me,_  
_Tugger gave me HIV_  
_Started with a kiss and ended on the floor,_  
_I was raped by a terrible bore!"_

Tugger was dumbstruck. He stared at the laughing calicos keeled over laughing their guts out. Tugger gritted his teeth and growled "Who...told...you...that...song?"

"Um, Oi think Tumbles told us." Rumpleteazer said, catching her breath. Tugger stomped away to look for the one kitten named Tumblebrutus. More cats laughed, giggled, and pointed at him as he walked past them. _You're dead, Tumblebrutus._

Tumble was talking with Plato and Admetus. Tugger walked up to them. When they caught a glimpse of Tugger, they all began to run away, but Tugger caught Tumblebrutus by the tail and help him by the nape of his neck. He pushed his face close to the trembling kitten's face.

"Did you start that song about me?" he growled.

"I swear, it wasn't me!" Tumble protested.

"Yeah? Jerrie and Teazer told me you told them about it!" Tugger retorted.

Yeah, I told them, but Alonzo told ME!" Tumblebrutus.

Tugger stopped. Then he set Tumblebrutus down and ran after Alonzo. When he found him, Alonzo claimed he was told by Rumpus Cat. Tugger spent the next hour tracking down nearly every cat in the junkyard, all claiming they heard it from someone else before passing it on. Eventually, he had gone through just about every cat in the junkyard. Eventually, there were only two cats left to interrogate:Demeter and Pouncival.

Tugger found Demeter sprawled out on top of the washing machine in the clearing sunbathing. "Hey Demeter." Demeter woke up from her nap, and once she saw Tugger she burst out laughing. Steam came out of Tugger's ears.

"You've always hated me. Did you spread that song about me?"

Demeter stopped laughing long enough to choke out "I heard it from Pouncival." That was it. Pouncival started the song. Tugger found Pouncival playing with a toy mouse out in the clearing. Tugger snatched the mouse away from him.

"Hey!" Pouncival shouted.

"I know it was you who started that song about me!" Tugger shouted.

"That is so not true!" Pouncival shouted back.

"Hey Pounce!" Plato called from the distance. "How did you come up with that tugger song? Can you teach me how to do that?"

Pouncival looked back at Tugger. "Okay, it was me!" he declared, proud of himself for a moment. But before he could brag about how he did it, Tugger grabbed him by the nape of the neck and took him to his den. He shifted Pounce into a certain position.

"Hey, wait, what are you-No please!"

Pouncival didn't sit right for 2 weeks.

* * *

**Sucky, sucky, _SUCKY_ ending. If you didn't like this, don't review, if you did, please do!**


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